Ain't nobody got dime for that!

Saturday I made a trip out to Vasquez Rocks to take on January's FourteenBeforeForty Adventure.  I'd decided that since it's been 8 months since my spinal surgeries, I'd gotten the all clear after my emergency Gallbladder removal on December 27th & I've lost 34 pounds, I wanted to do something that involved some sort of physical activity.  It's been a while since I've felt this good and I guess it shows since lots of people have told me I'm looking good and have a lot of color in my face!  Wait, isn't color scary?  Didn't I used to aim for that pasty white complexion? You can take the girl out of the goth, but you can't take the goth out of the girl!

I digress.

Last year, the Fiance, the Boy and I had ventured out to the "Star Trek Rocks" and taken photos.  I'd huffed and puffed my way as far up as I could go and made a promise that I'd come back and climb to the top.

That was also the day I lost my engagement ring so Fiance was adamant I secure it in some way. I borrowed a chain from the Teen and wore it around my neck this time.

We navigated the easiest way up for me and it didn't take me very long to make it past where I'd been the last time.  I sat and took a break drinking some water and using my trusty inhaler.  Asthma sucks!  I mentally began trying to figure out the best way to go up the very steep rock wall.

I hadn't made it very far before I had to stop.  Fiance was hot on my tail and making me nervous.  I told him as much and asked if he wanted to sit.  He said no.  I tried climbing up a bit farther and again had breathing trouble.  I sat down again.  I said I needed to take it slow.  Fiance said he was going to wander around.  Frustrated I asked if he really needed to do that, since it would make the third time in 20 minutes he would have walked off and left me.  He said that he just didn't feel like sitting, if he walked around maybe there was another way up.  It was making him nervous and scared watching me do this.  He didn't think I could do it.  I started to get upset.  The whole point of this thing is because I haven't felt like I've done what I should have been able to do because of my stupid injuries.  I haven't lived the life I've wanted to for the last 7 years.  He had no idea what it felt like to not be able to do the things he wanted to do because his body wouldn't cooperate.  He again said that he was just scared for me and that he didn't think I'd be able to climb up.  At this point I just got mad.  I started tearing up and asked if he didn't think I was scared?  That's part of the challenge of this!  Do things I'm scared of, things I've wanted to, things that I haven't done!  There's no disabled lift for me, I have to find a way up myself!  If it takes me 5 hours and I have to scoot on my butt all the way up and stop every 2 minutes because my lungs won't function then that's what I'm doing!  I think I was yelling by then.  I said "Didn't I ever tell you that Pops said I was the most hard assed person he'd ever met?!  I don't necessarily think he meant it in a complimentary way either!"

 Pops was my Grandfather who passed away in January 2009.  He and my Uncle Craig who passed away in January 2010 were huge supportive influences in my life & were really the only members of my family who hung in there and gave me a chance when I needed help and were willing to take a risk on a girl who'd pissed away golden opportunities so many times.  For that I will be forever grateful and I think of and miss them every day.  It drives me to be a better person, it makes me want to make them proud.  OK enough about dysfunctional family issues for now.

Fiance said yes, he did remember me telling him that.  He did know I am stubborn and he was still scared, but if I was determined then he was right behind me.  I wiped away my tears and turned to look up at the path up I'd already scoped out roughly seventeen times before.  Seventeen times of checking to see the loose rocks, the orange peels from some previous climber who'd had a snack, seventeen times to see exactly where my feet were going to go, where I was going to put which hand, where I was going to scoot up.  Only this time there was a shiny dime laying right next to me.

 A dime that had not been there any of the previous seventeen times.

If you are a believer in the significance of finding a dime, it means that an angel is watching over you.  It is a sign from the other side.  A loved one is trying to reassure you in some way.

I kept the dime.

Thank you Pops and Uncle Craig, I love you!

Oh, I made it to the top!